The Art of the First Kiss
Ah, the first kiss—the moment every rom-com has taught us to anticipate. Ideally, it’s spontaneous, electric, and feels like it was plucked straight from a Fletcher song. But let’s be real: for those of us navigating the mysterious waters of queer dating (especially female<>female relationships), spontaneity can sometimes feel as elusive as finding a lesbian character in a blockbuster movie before 2015.
Why? Well, if I don’t take the lead, chances are nothing will happen. Yes, it’s a frustrating stereotype about women in dating, but Hollywood hasn’t exactly helped. When’s the last time you saw a movie where two women figured this out without an awkward pause or a random, accidental lip brush? Exactly.
For a long time, I had no idea how to handle this, either. So, I developed what I call the signature moment: a planned, intentional way to ensure the date ends on a sweet, memorable note—kiss included. Think of it as a romantic safety net—a plan that’s simple, sweet, and stress-reducing. Here’s how you can create your own.
The Three Rules of the Signature Moment
Timing is everything: It should happen on the 2nd half or near the end of the date.
Location, location, location: Pick somewhere semi-private. (No one wants their first kiss narrated by a stranger yelling, “You go, girl!”)
Feelings check: Make sure your heart’s in it. This isn’t about forcing a moment—it’s about seizing one that feels right.
Got it? Good. Now, let me share two stories where my signature moment saved the day.
Case Study 1: The Power Move
I was visiting a new city for a few weeks and matched with a extremely gorgeous girl on Hinge. Our text convos were effortless—I was already smitten before we even met. For our first date, we kept it active: yoga, followed by a dip in the pool. Fun, flirty, and…logistically complicated.
See, public spaces meant no real alone time. The changing room? Absolutely not. This wasn’t an HBO drama. That left me with one option: the goodbye.
As we parted ways, I went for the power move. I hugged her goodbye, lingered just enough to build some tension, and then confidently pulled her in by the hand for the kiss. No hesitation, no second-guessing. Her reaction? Let’s just say it was very well received.
Case Study 2: The Scenic Swoon
My second story takes us to an art date—something sophisticated, intimate, and perfect for building connection. After touring a few galleries, I strategically planned a scenic walk to the final exhibit. Romantic? Check. Semi-private? Check.
Now, was my execution seamless? Not quite. Walking side-by-side made the logistics a little trickier (it’s hard to lean in when you’re both moving at the same pace). But because I had a plan in mind, I stayed calm, waited for the right moment, and made my move. It wasn’t flawless, but it was heartfelt—and it worked.
Why Having a Plan Matters
Here’s the thing: spontaneity is wonderful, but it’s not always reliable—especially when you’re early into dating and trying to navigate unfamiliar dynamics. A signature moment isn’t about scripting the date; it’s about giving yourself the confidence to embrace the moment when it comes.
When in doubt, ask yourself: How would I want a girl to kiss me for the first time? And then do that. Channel your inner Taylor Swift and be “the wind in our free-flowing sails”. You’ve got this.
